Vampire Mosquitos

As you all well know, Romania is the home of Transylvania, and Transylvania is the home of our fangy friend Count Dracula. The historical roots of the Dracula legend stem from a rather dark Romanian prince named Vlad Tepes or Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was not known for his charm or love of poetry, but rather for his tendency to impale his enemies on sharp pikes and watch them writhe for days before entering the next world.

The grisly history aside, I have always been both fascinated and terrified by vampires. As a child I was certain they existed, and believed I had seen a few creeping around the house during the wee hours. Even though vampires were undeniably scary, they also seemed to have an air of regal sophistication. In the Dracula movies I had seen, the vampires were always rich, well-dressed, highly-educated, and full of charisma. The comportment of ghosts, witches, warewolves, and boogie-men was common and uncouth by comparisson.

Last night I had my first real encouter with Romanian vampires. Now, these vampires were not of the traditional sort, but of the insect variety. As I lay contentedly dreaming I was intermittently awakend by the high frequency buzz of a mosquito nearing my face. In my semi-conscious stupor I took a swat at it--thereby striking myself on the cheek and bringing myself into lucidity. I hate hate hate mosquitos coming after me when I am trying to sleep. I got up, switched on the light, and tried to focus on the room through squinted lids. At first it seemed as if they had fled into dark corners, but after a moment or two I saw one of the litte blood-suckers perched on the wall about two feet above my headboard. This creature of the night was just biding her time for when I shut the lights off again so she could have a go at me. With one swat--I smashed her little body against my white plastered wall revealing a blood stain the size of a half-dollar. My blood no doubt! No wonder she was too sluggish to avoid my palm--the little devil was drunk and bloated on rhesus positive type A--a fine vintage I might add.

After a few moments I noticed another mosquito buzzing about near my TV. This one seemed to have the wherewithall not to alight too long in one place. She would fly up through curtains, back along the wall, down near my sock drawer. She diverted her course over and over--never settling anywhere. After about 10 minutes of desperate search, I concluded that she had left the room and I decided to go back to sleep.

I had a fitfull night with murky dreams and the faint sound of buzzing. When I awoke this morning, all appeared to be back to normal. The sunlight poked through the blinds and the birds were serenading each other above the small pack of stray dogs that live below my apartment. I went into the bathroom to shave.....I lifted the razor to my face and saw the reflection of my visage in the mirror drained of color. There were three distinct bites....all on my neck.

Beware the vampire mosquitos.